Happy Wife Happy Life- The Southern Mess Interpretation

Happy Wife Happy Life- The Southern Mess Interpretation

Ya'll.

This quote literally has always made me cringe a little. So much so that I knew when I began designing I had to put it on a shirt. Maybe it's meant to be sarcastic. I don't know. I've always had a weird sense of humor like that.

But seriously though. It's taken me a very long time to find my own happiness and to figure out what even makes me happy. The other day I watched a little video clip and in the video the Woman was saying how we as Mothers and Wives often lose our way. We forget how to find our own happiness because we are constantly serving others and in that servitude we begin to think that in order to find happiness we need to gain that happiness FROM others when in fact happiness comes from within ourselves. 

When I first looked at this quote or heard it, I immediately thought of the husband. He needs to keep his Wife Happy and in return they will have a Happy Life. I thought that was ridiculous. Absurd. Insert the cringe face. This quote doesn't mean that to me. It's about keeping ourselves happy as Wives and Mothers so that we can have a Happy Life with zero regrets. You see when we are doing what we love and what we enjoy, we are able to spread that to others. We are able to put that energy into positive things and focusing on our blessings. So it's not so much about perhaps keeping someone else Happy but allowing them to find their own Happiness even if it's different from your own. Then embracing it and loving them more because of it. 

I still have so much to learn in life but if I can share one thing I have, it's not to settle for anything that makes you unhappy. Or anyone for that matter. Life shouldn't be about sacrificing your own happiness for the sake of someone else because that only leaves you with a whole lot of resentment and regret. You deserve to find your passion and utilize it for all it's worth. You deserve to be around the people who love you for who you are at your worst and at your best. You deserve to be Happy. 

XOXO,

Barb

Owner, Designer, Workaholic at Southern Mess

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Stop the Negativity Please

Stop the Negativity Please

If you watched the Super Bowl, then you probably saw Lady Gaga's performance. If you're like me, her performance is all that you watched. 

She went above and beyond and whether you're a fan or not, she owned the Halftime Show. 

But I was shocked, saddened, and concerned at what followed. A slew of social media posts began focused on her body. Judging, shaming, saying things like "Couldn't get past that belly flab".

Ugh, ya'll. That's our problem. We are so quick to judge and say things that can't be taken back and Dear Lord, if they can't get past her belly flab then I guess I won't be putting on a swimsuit this year. Or like ever. 

But seriously. I'm curious how amazing the bodies are on all of these people, who felt so inclined to judge HER body. Probably not so much. Because you see, as a society we take our own insecurities, and we push them off on someone else. 

As a Mother of 3 girls, I have had to really watch myself. I'm not always happy at what I've done to my body, whether it be from childbirth or that extra slice of pizza, but I owe it to my daughters to teach them the difference between healthy and thin. Fit and sedentary. About taking care of our bodies but also being proud of what they are and what they are capable of. 

Ya'll in the past 10 years my body has changed. A lot. I'm larger than I once was. Softer than I was. Older than I was. I've had three babies. My body has gained (and lost) 30+ pounds each time. That is life. That is sacrifice. That is love. And it came with a whole lot of baggage I hadn't planned on. 

About 4 years ago I had a goal to put on a bikini again. Not even sure why to be honest, but I did it.  I lost 25 lbs of pure fat and was super proud of the hard work I put in. But all the weight loss didn't take away my stretch marks, my insecurities, my fear of judgement. I looked in the mirror and was still not where I wanted to be, which was unrealistic because I wanted my body to be 18 again, before kids so you know..... I wore the bikini anyway at the encouragement of my bestie but I was so dang uncomfortable because of what others may be thinking. Ya'll that sucks! I lost all that weight, worked out super hard, got crazy toned after three kids and I was still worried I may be too fat, too old, too stretch marky (yes, I know that's not a word).  We have gotta stop this cycle of judgment and instead celebrate each other, uplift each other, and encourage each other to wear that dress, rock that look, and most of all BE YOURSELF. 

Lady Gaga came back with an amazing message to her haters. She said that she was proud of her body and that you don't need to cater to anyone else in order to be successful. And she's so right. But I also know that those words spoken about her were hurtful. Made her possibly second guess her decision making. Quite possibly even changed the way she looked at herself in the mirror, you know what I'm talking about, when you scrutinize all the parts of yourself you are already insecure about or weren't until someone else said you should be. Those words, they change people. 

So the next time you see someone rocking something you probably wouldn't and your first thoughts are to laugh, mock, or shake your head remember that it took confidence to wear what they are wearing, whether you would or not, and that's something we can all look up to. 

XOXO,

Barb

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